$163|1-Presenting....


$361|1-Daniel Thornton`s


$abc|2-Celebration






$361|1-of


$abc|2-Mediocrity







$fff
This  article  is  the result of years of intense research* into finding
the  most mediocre things on earth.  This is only volume one in a series
of 998 articles, and here are the first results....
*a lie

|1-Category One....


|1-Television



$f00|1-Most mediocre...


$0f0|1-Television channel


$0ff|1-1st...Anglia Television


$fff                         2nd...Challenge TV
                       3rd...The Computer Channel

$ff4Anglia  television  won  this  award easily, as their output is the most
mediocre  in  the  world.   A  typical Sunday afternoon`s schedule often
looks something like this...

2.00         Highway to Heaven
3.00         The Village Show - a visit to lots of small villages - in
                                Norfolk!
3.30         The Antiques Programme
4.00         Anglia Business News - for those who ENJOY doing work at
                              the weekends
4.30         Bygone Days
5.00         Wildlife Rescue

                               **********

$f00|1-Most mediocre...


$0f0|1-Sitcom


$0ff|1-1st...Oh Doctor Beeching!


$fff                          2nd...Blooming Marvelous
                          3rd...The Upper Hand

$ff4Oh  Doctor  Beeching  won easily because it is that rarity of sitcoms in
that  in none of the scripts has there ever been a single joke. Everyone
hates  it,  yet  the  BBC  will definitely give it a new series, as they
think its writers are geniuses.

                             *************

$f00|1-Most mediocre...


$0f0|1-Television Presenter


$0ff|1-1st...Eammon Holmes


$fff                          2nd...Jimmy Hill
                         3rd...Jeremy Clarkson


$ff4Eammon  Holmes  quickly  grew from being the slightly tubby presenter of
mediocre  TV  show  GMTV,  to being the slightly tubby, never humourous,
presenter-for-all-occasions.   Whenever  a  TV  channel  is  short  of a
presenter  for  a mediocre TV show, Eammon`s there, with his jolly Irish
accent,  ready  to  present  anything,  whether  he has a clue about the
subject involved or not.

                             *************

$ff0
Right,  that`s  the  TV  one  done.   Time to work on some new ones.  If
anyone  else  wants  to  do mediocrity celebrations, feel free.  I don`t
care.


$fff
end